Being careful to carefully put Care back in its place with Care

A lot of caring in that title. So who cares? That seems to be the prevalent attitude with most people today, and this lack of caring is responsible for the untimely death of some people and most of our problems. Everybody should have a caring attitude, because everything both inanimate things and living beings need care. And any business, family or human relationships cannot function properly or succeed without care. What is care?

Care means: centering our attention, anxiety or solicitude on a person or thing, or being concerned or having a personal interest, relation or affection for a person, animal or thing. The word is similar to solicitude which means attentive care and protectiveness, great concern or connotes either thoughtful or hovering attentiveness towards another. Concern also implies a troubled state of mind because of personal interest, relation or affection, such as the care a parent would have for a child or children, or vice versa children should have for an ill or aging parent, or a person will have for a animal or pet.

Why Care is necessary for the growth and welfare of life before birth and all throughout up until death.

Even before a child is born, the mother has to be careful about her health so that the baby inside her will also be healthy. And after birth then even more care has to be taken for the child, not just in providing clothing, food, and a warm place to sleep but more so for it’s emotional needs, by hugging, holding, softly talking, rocking and singing to the baby, loving care necessary for the proper development of the child. Without this the baby’s growth can be stunted or it can even die.

Even if the mother or both parents are not always present, this care needs to be given to the baby for its own proper developmentAnd parents whom need child care should carefully investigate the entire background of those they are hiring and entrusting the care of their young children to. Not doing so can be dangerous and can affect the child’s health and development. The importance of loving care to a baby even if it is not by its own mother was discovered years ago in an orphanage. These were young babies without parents so their care depended on the staff in the orphanage.

A nurse working in this orphanage was in charge of several babies on the floor. These babies had no parental love, they were orphans, so all their care and emotional needs for love and affection depended on the staff. Most of the babies slept well during her nightly shift except two babies who constantly woke up and kept crying. The nurse would always pick up one of them and smilingly and softly talked to the child, hugged it close to her body, sang to it, and cuddled it back to sleep.

The other baby just never got any attention at all, was completely ignored, and just kept crying itself until exhausted back to sleep. This went on almost every night, the nurse some how loved one baby, and ignored the other. The doctors noticed that even though both children were getting the same food and being bathed properly one baby was getting weaker and sickly and wasn’t growing or seemed emotionally sick.

It takes more than just food, water and shelter to be healthy and happy, but also loving care

The other baby whom was being hugged, talked to and held was happy, healthy and was beginning to smile and made happy baby noises while the neglected one kept getting sicker, never smile and never made any happy baby noises. Both these babies were given the same food, proper nutrition warm clothes and a warm place to sleep.

But still it seemed to the doctors that the child was dying even though they couldn’t find any particular thing wrong with its health. Then the nurse that took care of these children was questioned about the care the children were getting.

The nurse then admitted that she never held this baby, talked to it or hugged and cuddled it and just let it cry alone until exhausted and it fell back to sleep. It was suggested that she started paying more attention to this child, holding it and doing the same thing she did to the other one. Just after a few nights of holding this baby hugging it and softly singing and talking to the child it began to improve, started showing life, eventually started making natural baby noises.

The baby had began to die because of a lack of loving care

And with continued care this child began to smile and eventually started growing and living again. It sure proves how important loving care is from birth and throughout life, even if it doesn’t come from the child’s natural parents, as long as it is giving by a caring human being. It is needed without it we could die.

Some recent research is saying that you should leave a baby cry itself back to sleep. That might be Okay only if the baby is dry, not hungry, and is being taken care of all during the day, and getting the necessary love by holding, hugging it and softly speaking and cuddling. If the child is crying unnecessary during the night because it just wants attention, then it is up to the parents to talk to the baby and explain it that there is no reason for him or her to be crying and they should go to sleep. Babies are smart, even long before they start speaking they can understand what you are saying. I used to see my mother do this to my younger baby sisters and brothers.

Balancing Child Care with loving discipline

Mom used to lean over the crib checked to see if the baby was not wet, and with the baby crying and kicking to be picked up, she would softly talked to it explaining that it is time for everybody to sleep and they have had enough loving, hugging and cuddling all during the day, and now it is sleep time. And believe it Mom did the trick, the baby would stop crying and went back to sleep. This was done more than just one time but over a period of several nights each time her voice getting a little more firmer. The baby will realize that Mommy (or Daddy) means what she or he  says, and will even stop getting up for no reason.

At the same time she was teaching the baby discipline and unselfishness, so later when growing up they knew not to throw a tantrum or start crying and screaming just to get their own way. Most often that attitude among small children starts from their birth. If they can get their parents to pick them up whenever they cry for no reason just because they want it, then later on they continue to use tantrums and screaming to get their own way. My mother raised eight children and even helped raised six grandchildren and other people’s children so she learned through experience what works or not. And she did an excellent job, for we all turned out very well, disciplined and trained how to behave and be unselfish and show concern for others not just ourselves.

But this is different if the baby is not getting any care at all, such a baby should not be left to cry itself back to sleep because they are crying out for love and should be given the necessary love and care which is necessary for its emotional health and normal growth, as mentioned above.

 Caring for our gardens, houseplants, and Pets, balancing them with human care

We should also show care for our homes, cars, belongings, gardens or plants if we have such (see previous post on Houseplants behaving like people), and animals or pets. Some people take better care of their pets than other people.

We must care for our pets but it should be balanced since they are not human beings, and letting a dog or cat sit on the table or your plate that you will be eaten from is unhealthy. Do you know how dirty an animal butt and tongue is, and loaded with harmful bacteria?

Or hugging and kissing a dog on the mouth (or any animal) or letting them lick your mouth or face, especially letting young children do so can transfer bacteria over to humans which are unhealthy and can make us sick. This is not keeping care in its place, but is out of place. Care of humans come first, animals should not be allowed to endanger the health of humans. So many incurable diseases are being discovered and not yet researched, no one knows yet how many of these were transferred by the bacteria from animals to humans. Take care of your pets by feeding and getting them the proper nutritional and veterinarian care. Keeping them clean by giving them good baths and free from infections. Petting them and showing them you care. Be balanced though, with other living things, they are still animals, not humans whom are always superior.

 Don’t forget our seniors whom need special care

When we are young we give no thought to getting old. People by nature are youth tuned. (That is how God created us. The Bible book of Ecclesiastes says that time indefinite has been put into the hearts of men) so that explains why everything is tuned toward youth and staying young. Old age and death was never part of God’s original purpose that is the reason we all hate the very idea of growing old and dying. It all came because of inherited sin. (See several previous posts on restoration of perfect life again under the Category: Peoples and Families). So growing old and becoming an elderly person can be very depressing to them.

Some of them need to be taken care of by their children and grandchildren and this can be humiliating to some of them. And some may not have any children or others to give them any care and end up alone or in a nursing home. This can be a frightening experience for an aging adult to look forward to. Most often these seniors in nursing homes are neglected and may even die prematurely due to a lack of care.

About two years ago or maybe last year there was TV News about the police finding the skeleton of a dead person in a house right within a well inhabited neighborhood  somewhere in New Jersey. After talking to the neighbors they all knew this older man that was living alone and they said kept to himself. But nobody missed him for a whole year or even knocked on his door to see how he was even after they didn’t see him for a while.

It is shocking that people can be so cold and unconcerned or uncaring about a neighbor living right within their midst and his body already turned to skeleton and nobody even knew. This is not the way for us to live folks, especially in these difficult times people need to show more concern for each other especially the older ones living alone. We have to take the initiative because they might be to ashamed to ask for help or really need someone to talk to.

In our modern world one of the ways we show we care is by helping seniors, those that are not to old yet to learn how to make good use of some modern technology such as computers, ipads, digital tablets, newest cell-phones, GPS, etc. (See previous post on: Modern Technology reversing the roles: Seniors Parents obey your children and grandchildren). Some seniors may even want to go back to school to upgrade their skills to fit in with our ever changing world.

Parents can teach their children by example how to care for the elderly

When I was a young girl growing up back home on St. Maarten Sunday dinners were always special, the highlight of the week with full course meal and all the trimmings. But inspite of just feeding her own family my mother used to always put aside a full plate of all the Sunday Dinner special for an older senior from our small congregation. He was old enough to be her father but didn’t have any one to care for him.

I don’t remember if he was a widower or just grew older living alone. But he had snow white hair and every Sunday he came to the back door of the kitchen and Mom would hand him a plate of food to take home with him since he preferred to take it to his own home.

She did this right up until Mr. Garnett died, even with a house full of her own children she still faithfully provided a meal for an elderly senior never asking for anything back in return. (See previous post: A mother like no other). After so many years I still remember that and such kindness taught to children by example of their parents does leave a lasting impact on how they themselves treat older ones. I know I gave credit to my parents for my care and concern I have for the elderly.

I had the experience once of temporary assisting a friend of mine years ago with her job as a Senior Companion Caretaker. Normally I never thought I would enjoy a job like that since it involved actual helping the elderly with their medications, preparing meals, bathing and dressing them. Even though I love older people for their wisdom and experience, I am not inclined toward the nursing profession, hate the smell of medicine, or being around sick people. So I declined the first time when she asked me to help her out just one weekend. She spent the whole week on her job and only got every other weekend off. When she asked me again to relieve her one weekend because the other substitute caregiver couldn’t do it, I finally said yes, but only one time because this is not my kind of work.

Never turn down an opportunity to show care for the elderly, it can turn out to be an educational and rewarding experience

First she invited me to meet her client and his daughter living in New York City. A nice Jewish elderly man 91 one years old, and his daughter who lived with him. Since the daughter worked she hired a personal caregiver to care for her father at home rather than putting him in a nursing home. That was a loving thing for her to do for her father I commended her, and since they were both such nice people and we liked each other right away, including the elderly father I agreed to work the weekend for my friend and relieved her until the regular substitute returned the next time she needed the weekend off.

That experience taught me so much about how much we can learn from those whom lived and worked long before we were born. This was not a depressing or senile senior at all. After bathing him and preparing his breakfast we just sat and talked. This elderly man even though he was 91 years old and growing feeble his mind was as sharp as a razor. 

 I love getting to know people asking them what they did when they were young, what kind of work and recreation they did, what life was like back then and so much more. I asked him questions and he just talked, remembering everything. From his job down on Wall Street, to his family, what life was like back then in New York City. Remember then they had none of the modern day technology, people used their brains and hands to work.

It was so interesting to learn so much from him. Like having a personal history teacher (and I love history) and business coach teaching me how business was done and should be done, but also some of the hardships they had to endure then and worked hard to achieve whatever they did. But what was the most satisfying was that he was so happy to have somebody as young as I was then showing that much interest in his life, an old man, and he could talk to, that alone made him feel better.

 It makes older ones feel useful when they can share life experiences with younger ones, bringing purpose to their life rather than a feeling of worthlessness. I later found out my friend who regularly took care of him didn’t do much talking to him, so he was left to read or watch TV. She didn’t know how much she missed out on not getting to know her client.

He wanted me to come back again if the other weekend caregiver couldn’t make it, and I promised I would but unfortunately about a month later he had a stroke and died. I felt sad for even though I only had one weekend to meet such a sharp mind, it was such a privilege and a gift and taught me that caring for the elderly can be very rewarding and a lot to learn. So young people reading this don’t look down on our seniors, especially your aging parents or grand-parents, there is a world of knowledge and wisdom they can share with you contributing to your success. You can bring joy to their life and vice versa they to yours.

 Customer Care the key to business success

Most business owners know that without customers or clients their business cannot grow or succeed.  Here is where care makes a big difference in whether they make money or not. Care has to be taken in what kind of customers they want to attract, what these customers need, and care in what marketing and advertising methods will be used to attract them. Big business only hire people that they know will attract the clients they want, so they invest in training the right employees to get them customers and keep them.

People looking for work should carefully do research on companies before applying for a job. Find out exactly what they do and whether you have what they need to get new customers or clients. If not then take additional training to qualify or to fit within their organization. In these difficult economic times the more you can be of help to an employer in caring about or for their customers the better you become an asset to them.

I noticed a lot of companies now send out surveys for their customers to let them know what they can do to improve their services. Other places are now employing “Greeters” these are employees who do nothing more than stand at the entrances or throughout the stores, the banks, or Supermarkets and greet the customers and ask them if they need any help. Even some of the smaller discount stores are now doing the same thing. I was surprised to be approached by at least two greeters when I entered one recently.

Every company is interested in people whom will treat their clients with respect and kindness because this is what keeps them in business.

 Employers know that if they hire rude nasty unconcern people they drive clients away and the business suffers. Employees have to be careful how they talk to and treat customers since this will determine whether they keep their jobs or not. I know all the big department stores carefully pay attention to the kind of treatment their Sales Associates render to customers, or they can be let go if no improvements are made.

Businesses are made up of people and people need other people who really cares about their needs and wants

These days it would be the wise thing to do for all businesses to study, plan surveys and ask everyone what they could do to make their shopping experience, or the services they provide a pleasant one. For it is only when customers see that they are being cared for then they will continue doing business with that company. Also satisfied customers refer others to a business that treats them well, and business owners need this kind of free publicity and advertising.

For just like everything else businesses are made up of people and people need other people that really cares about their needs and wants. So customer care is something a business owner has to always consider when planning for new products, services and advertising to attract and keep the customers he has already and hopes to recruit. So caring is a very important asset for all businesses to succeed.

 Putting Care back into Healthcare

Back in times past doctors made house calls, and midwives delivered babies. All sick patients got one on one loving care from their doctors and new mothers from midwives. In some countries and smaller islands some doctors still make house calls on older bedridden patients. I know four years ago before my mother died, her doctor came to the house several times to look after her. These doctors really show genuine care and concern for the health of their patients, and this is what a “Healthcare Professional” should be like. These medical personnel spend time with their house patients getting to know them very well, talking and comforting them and this personal care in itself helps in restoring good health sometimes as much as given them a medication to take.

Healthcare Professionals may know the right prescription to give patients, but they should also know that a kind word, a warm smile a caring touch and attitude, and a question as to how the patient feels all contribute to good health. (See previous post on: A pill for this and a pill for that, a smoke, a drink, and whats the bill for all these  huh?) No matter how bad a person feels, a nice caring attitude can do much for the human spirit which helps in healing most medical problems a person has. And this is what real caring means, putting the care back into healthcare. Because some places seem to have forgotten that this quality of care is very important to the general health of patients. Today some doctors and nurses are more concerned with their salary or making money rather than the health of their patients.

Some time ago I had a follow up with one of my doctors in Manhattan NY, and in the meantime I changed my insurance network of doctors. I really thought he was still in my network because I checked to see if my present doctors were, but somehow he had changed and I didn’t know. When I got to his office, his front desk nurses couldn’t find his name in my network of doctors anymore, and he came out and said: “I am sorry, I can’t see you, I am no longer in your network of doctors”. Not even how are you feeling now, or nice to see you. I guess that is also covered by money. (He had performed a surgical procedure on my left knee, and it was still hurting) so at least I thought he would be interested to see how well it was healing, or why was it still hurting. 

But no, there was no “care” in his health care, just “money care”.  If no insurance money, then he couldn’t even take a follow up look on a patient. So what would have happen if I was an older adult maybe suffering from a heart attack, would that doctor just let me die there because he was not in my insurance network? It is shocking to even think about the many people who could have lost their lives because of the lack of “Care” by some so-called Healthcare Professionals, whose main concern is money, not people.

 Showing Care in how patients are talked to and treated affects their blood pressure tests and can result in the improper diagnosis and treatments being given

But there are a lot of fine doctors and nurses all around the world including the USA and especially here in New York. Very well trained and are doing a fine job in helping the sick, not just by their knowledge but also by their caring attitude. Of course there will always be a few whom by their conduct will give others a bad name.

This is the case with one large Hospital Facility in Brooklyn NY whose “Medical Clinic Staff” are rude, unfriendly, argumentative, never smile, and don’t talk in a kind way to the patients. Scientific research has shown that the way a patient is talked to or treated can raise or lower that persons blood pressure, which affects the heart and other organs in the body, and can affect the proper or improper diagnosis the healthcare professional makes.

This clinic is also made up of a mostly Black Medical staff (Africans and West Indians). And that should be a good reason for these Healthcare Professionals to watch their attitude because they are giving other black people a bad name. Whatever unfriendly culteral background or mannerism a person came from, a real professional knows that displaying the right personality and attitude goes with the job. Just as any business depends on the care they give to their customers to stay in business, Healthcare Professionals should also know that their business also depends on how they treat their patients, and even more seriously the life of their patients depends on the care they give them.

It is very common for people to stereo-type a whole race of people by the attitude of a few in a particular field. It would be easy for anyone going to that clinic to conclude that this is the way black people are, rude, argumentative, unsmiling, and having a don’t care attitude.  Fortunately the doctors and nurses from many of the other medical departments within this same Facility whom are also Black Professionals are very nice caring doctors and nurses. And it is interesting to find so many of these caring black doctors are women, (another group whom have been wrongly stereo-typed are black women) well trained women specialists in different fields of healthcare: Gynecologists, Dermatologists, Orthopeadics, Podiatrists and every other specialized fields of medicine. So it would not be true to say that all black people (or doctors and nurses) are the same, there are rude unkind people among all races. (See previous post on: Avoiding and dealing with disappointments)

 But care should be taken especially in the healthcare field that no doctor, or nurse of any race should develop an uncaring attitude toward any patient

Healthcare is a matter of life or death. The wrong diagnosis, treatment or neglect can result in a person’s prolonged illness or death. And everyone in the field of Health needs to be well trained in not just medicine but also in people care. Just put “care” and “people” back into healthcare, keep it there, and we will have a much healthier happier world of people.

And yes, this is one of the main keys to being Happy, is becoming a caring person. Following the Golden Rule as Jesus said: “Just as you want others to do to you, do likewise unto them” Everybody wants to be treated with care, so we should also treat others the same. By the way we speak and act toward others, kind, courteous and helpful when necessary. Keeping care in its place starts with each one of us. Take care.

PS: I finished writing this post long before I heard about the hurricane Sandy coming to New York. I was researching the photos and fixing them which takes time to publish the post, and the hurricane struck during this time.  Fortunately my area was not damaged that badly because these are all high rise buildings, away from any oceans or rivers, and I am on the 5th Floor. Just the terrible howling of the wind outside and occasional flickering of the lights was all that we endured. And ofcourse I am stuck indoors because there are no subways running and some places are closed because no one can travel to work or back.
But this post is so appropriate for this time because when such a disaster strikes then it really brings out the best in people and how much they care or not. Even  though some of us like myself are  not receiving any direct care from anyone, we all are benefiting from the care that is taken in the City. I just want to thank all the people whom are showing all of us directly or not such care:
The Mere’s and Governors of the Cities involved in the hurricane, the Fire-fighters, Police Officers, Para-medics, Doctors, Nurses, Hospital Personnel, Government Workers cleaning up the after effects, First Responders, The TV News Casters (They are sure  working tirelessly around the clock keeping us up to date with what is happening) (See previous post on showing gratitude for all those whom serve us daily: On the road of Life their are many Jacks and Jackie’s deserving of their Jacket) and everyone for all their hard work and care they are showing. And all of us can also show care for the Care-givers.
If you live in New York or any of the disaster struck areas close to a Police Precinct or a Fire-house and you can afford it, why not take some cooked food over for these hard workers letting them know how much you appreciate their concern for us?

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Hello, I am Glenda Brill, I have been asked several times if I do all the writing of my Blog posts myself, and if I even designed the Theme myself. Yes, I did and do it all myself. I am a Creative Artist/Designer/Writer and love writing. (You can read more about me on my Blog, under the "About Me" page. I can do all kinds of writing if I choose. I first started writing when I developed my own line of Unique Hand-Crafted Greeting Cards for different occasions, and enjoyed it so much I decided to expand into writing a Blog where I can write (and also illustrate) about different topics of interest to people, things that can help them with everyday problems, to give them encouragement, and share some amusing experiences I had myself with them. Helping people to see that inspite of hard times we still can see humor in some things and we all have the ability to laugh. All my posts are of my own originality, I do not borrow or copy other people's work, and if discussing something that is of concern to everyone, I do my research to make sure I have all the facts, before writing anything. Hope you will enjoy reading my Blog and I look forward to your comments.
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